4 ways to help preteens practice spiritual disciplines instead of just hearing about them

One of the things we’ve been learning through StepUp at our church is that preteens rarely develop spiritual disciplines just by hearing about them.

StepUp is a 12-month program we use to help preteens explore and practice spiritual disciplines together, and over time it has become a bit of a lab for us as we continue discovering what actually works well with this age group. One thing we’ve seen over and over is that spiritual appetite tends to grow when preteens are given opportunities to actively engage instead of only listening.

They develop spiritual disciplines by practicing them.

That may sound obvious, but I think a lot of ministry environments unintentionally become “lecture-heavy” when it comes to discipleship. We explain prayer, explain worship, explain Bible reading, explain serving, and explain generosity...but never create much space for preteens to actually do those things while we’re with them.

Preteens are at a stage where ownership matters deeply. They are beginning to ask, “What do I believe?” and “Will I actually choose this for myself?” That means our ministries often become more effective when they feel a little more like a lab and a little less like a lecture hall.

Here are four shifts that have helped us.

Workshop Time
If we teach intercessory prayer, we try to create time for preteens to actually practice intercessory prayer in the room. If we teach worship, we create moments for worship. If we teach silence and listening to God, we create time for quiet reflection instead of immediately moving on to the next activity.

Preteens often need guided practice before they feel comfortable engaging in spiritual disciplines on their own. Giving them space to try these things while we are with them helps remove some of the intimidation and uncertainty.

Compel Rather Than Guilt
There’s a big difference between helping preteens understand why something matters and simply telling them they should do it.

“You should pray more” usually doesn’t create ownership.

But helping a preteen understand that prayer is a real relationship with God changes the conversation entirely.

Power and choice matter to preteens. They are beginning to take ownership of their lives and beliefs. When we explain the “why” behind a spiritual discipline and then put the ball in their court, we often see much deeper engagement than when we rely on guilt or pressure.

M.A.P. Time
One of the most important rhythms we use in StepUp is something we call M.A.P. Time.

M.A.P. stands for:

Me
Affect
Pray

The preteens begin by reading a passage and highlighting what stands out to them personally. Then they think through why they highlighted it and how it affects their life or perspective. Finally, they spend time talking to God about what they noticed and how it connects to them personally.

Before we teach on a passage, we give preteens time to engage with Scripture for themselves first instead of only hearing someone else explain it.

What’s been fascinating is watching how much they grow in this over time.

At first, some preteens feel unsure or hesitant. But after weeks and months of practicing this rhythm, they begin noticing things in Scripture on their own. They start asking thoughtful questions and pointing things out before I ever get to the teaching portion.

That shift is important because it helps them realize they are actually capable of engaging with God’s Word personally, not just listening to someone else explain it.

Break Things Outside the Classroom
Spiritual disciplines become much more real when preteens carry them into everyday life.

Sometimes that means giving them a devotional challenge to try at home for the week and then inviting them to come back and talk about what happened. Sometimes it means teaching on serving and then creating an actual Serve Sunday where they practice serving together as a ministry.

A few weeks ago, I shared a picture from one of our recent StepUp Serve Sundays, and I think that image captured something important. Preteens were not just hearing about serving the Church. They were doing it together.

That’s where ownership begins to grow.

If you’re looking for a framework to help preteens develop spiritual disciplines intentionally over time, that’s exactly why we created StepUp. Each month focuses on a different spiritual discipline and helps preteens move from simply hearing about these things to actually practicing them.

You can also see the full list of spiritual disciplines we cover here:
https://www.acceleratepreteens.com/stepup/

Sean